Write a Letter - Heal Your Soul!
I Forgave, but It's So Hard to Forget
by Natacha Cann on July 19th, 2016

​This week’s blog post is from a question one of our readers submitted regarding forgiveness. She writes:
“I've been working on healing. I have read your posts. I truly believe that harboring ill will towards others is wrong and it affects the one doing the harboring. I have forgiven oh so much. Much my dreams replay my past and I am not able to stop them. I'm hoping you have ideas or suggestions. Anything.”
Love, Denise

If you have forgiven someone, but you are still trying to overcome bad memories that replay in your mind, Denise’s question and the answer may be of help and comfort to you.
The Healing Letters Project answers:
Hi Denise, thanks for reaching out and reading my posts. You are correct that the person who doesn’t forgive is the person who suffers the most. But, once you make the decision to forgive, how do you stop those hurtful incidents from replaying in your heart and mind? This is the question you raise and it is a tough one, but I do have some suggestions.
​First, let’s put things in perspective. When we talk about healing, we are NOT talking about “forgetting.” Simply forgetting hurtful incidents that continue to “replay” in your mind should not be your goal. In fact, this may even be impossible. It would be like asking someone to erase their memory bank and that’s just not useful advice.
Instead, work on how you “manage” the hurtful things that do replay. Managing your hurt is another way of saying “work through the process of healing” until you get to the point where memories may replay, but they are no longer painful. And, as you heal, you will find that those memories will lessen over time.
People choose different ways to heal/manage painful memories. For example, some find that writing is therapeutic. Writing a letter to yourself, or to someone else, allows you to express and release your feelings and emotions on paper. Some also find that journaling daily or even periodically is beneficial.
If you prefer talking to someone as opposed to writing, consider seeing a licensed therapist or other professional.
Also, in my personal opinion, healing must include these two P’s: Payer and Patience. If journaling is your thing, consider keeping a prayer journal of all the wonderful and encouraging verses in the bible where God tells us to wait patiently on Him as he heals our wounds, strengthens our hearts, and carries our burdens. See Psalm 147:3, Psalm 27:14, and Matthew 11:28, to name a few. Meditate on His word and His promises.
If personal guilt is getting in the way of you letting go of these memories, forgive yourself for any wrong you have done. If you have forgiven others, and God has forgiven you, then certainly you can forgive yourself.
In summation, don’t put your focus on trying to stop the memories that reply in your heart and mind. Instead, put your focus, time and effort on the therapeutic things that will help you continue to heal and grow and eventually the memories will take care of themselves. I hope this helps!]
Thanks to Denise for submitting that question. We will keep her lifted in prayer. One final note:
If you need a therapeutic way to heal, consider participating in The Healing Letters Project by writing a letter of reconciliation (forgiveness letter). A forgiveness letter allows you to put your thoughts and feelings on paper so that you may release negative emotions and get closure. You can write a letter to someone living, someone deceased, or even to yourself.
You can get all of the details here and also read letters others have submitted.

Posted in broken relationships, change, forgive and forget, forgiving, God's word, Healing, letters of reconciliation, patience    Tagged with difficult to forgive, forgiving others


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