Write a Letter - Heal Your Soul!
How to Write a Letter

You’re ready to write a letter, but you don’t know how to go about it. What should you say?

Since every case is different, these are no exact rules for writing a letter of reconciliation. But, here are some recommendations on the main ingredients you may want to include in your letter:

Say, “I’m sorry.”
Be honest in your writing. Have the courage to say, “I’m sorry I did x, y, z” or say “I was wrong about x, y, z.” If you’re not describing something you did, then maybe it’s the way you felt. For example, “I’m sorry for being resentful” or “I’m sorry for holding a grudge.” If you feel you don’t need to specifically name any scenario, then don’t. Sometimes, saying I’m sorry and discussing your feelings are all it takes to get the ball rolling.

Say, “Will you forgive me?”
Ask for the other person’s forgiveness for what you’ve done. For example, “Will you forgive me for x, y, z?” If you don’t find it necessary to name a specific issue, then simply say, “Will you forgive me for any hurt or offense I may have caused you?”

Say, “I forgive you.”
Specifically tell the other person that you forgive them for what they’ve done. If you don’t find it necessary to name a specific issue, simply say, “I forgive you for any hurt or offense you may have caused me."

Other things you may want to include in your letter.
Say, “I love you.”
Say, "I’m praying for you.”
Say, “Thank you.”
Say whatever you deem important. What’s important to you may also be important to the other person.
Lastly, don’t be evasive; say what you know needs to be said.

What are some things you should exclude from your letter?

​​If you are reaching out to make amends, it’s best to stay away from the following:

​Pointing the finger.
Assigning blame.
Making excuses.
Using harsh words.
“Telling people off.”

​Remember, “Love covers over all wrongs,” but “hatred stirs up conflict.”

Do you need help getting started?

If you're still having trouble getting started, formulating your thoughts, or writing that first line, “click here” to see an example of a letter. You may also see actual letters written by others on our "Healing Letters" page!
Read a sample Letter of Reconciliation.
See our Healing Letters page
to read actual letters
written by others.